Even Fairytale Characters Would Be Jealous.

You and me,

it's kinda like a fairytale.

The only thing missing are dragons,

and all that cool shit.

Changing.

People change as often as the wind.

You can follow them,

or you can stand your ground.

You can be angry at me for changing all you want.

Everyone knows it would have happened eventually.

Everyones just trying to discover who they are,

and where they belong.

Sometimes, you just don't belong where you wish you did.

And sometimes, the person you want to belong to,

isn't who you wish they were.

Best Friends Forever.

"So here's a story of a boy
Who said he never understood.
They grew up together in the same neighborhood.

She stole his first kiss at the age of five
And since that day hes been going crazy inside.
She tells him how shes afraid of being alone.
Oh, he hopes to god he's not in friend zone.

I feel sick when she is gone.
Stay at home and play her favorite songs.
I wish I had one day.
Just so she can see what love can truly be."

Nobody Else.

Nobody will understand the significance of this photo,

except me and those three people.

We'll Sleep When We're Dead.

"Don't go.

Be here.

You're loved.

Breathe easy."

I Want It All.

You have to realise,

if you're going to miss out on things you want,

because your friends want it,

life is going to be a bitch,

and you're gonna have to fight for it.

1000 Times Goodbye.

The times are changing so fast.

I can't keep up.

Drowning Lessons.

I remember when we used to run to catch the bus.

When we used to hurry home from school

so we could get to youth group.

Imagine if nothing had changed.

Imagine if i never moved,

and i had continued to come to youth with you.

Imagine if i'd never started hanging out with them

and you'd never gotten crap about having a baby face.

Imagine if nothing had changed within our school group

and we still spent everyday together.

Holidaying with you had to be one of the best things.

If things hadn't have changed,

could you have possibly still been alive right now?

Dear Matty,

"i swear i'll never touch a drop of alcohol

do any form of drugs

and follow my faith and my heart

'til the day that i die."

Your death could have been prevented.

Easily.

You could have enjoyed your 21st birthday a week later.

Your life was short.

But you did so much more then the average person would do in 50 years.

I respect you so much.

And i regret ever falling out with you.

I Know You Know.

I woke up angry.

That quickly turned into an obvious sadness.

I don't know what i want to say.

But i know who it is i need to say it to.

Survey 002.

Appearance.

[ ] i have used fake tan.

[x] i have had/want cosmetic surgery.

[x] i feel confident without makeup.

[ ] i have chipped my teeth/a tooth.

[ ] i have plucked/waxed my eyebrows.

[x] i have a scar.

[ ] i think i am fat.

[x] i get sunburnt easily.

[x] i have dyed my hair

[x] i have/had/need glasses

[x] i have a tattoo.

[x] i want a tattoo.

[ ] i am self-conscious about my appearance.

[x] i have had/have braces.

[x] i have had more than four piercings.

Childhood.

[x] i have wet the bed

[x] i have eaten a booger

[x] i have played with barbie dolls

[x] i have played kiss chase

[x] i have climbed a tree

[x] i have fallen out of a tree

[x] i have thrown a tantrum

[ ] i have made a mud cake

[x] i had a toy i slept with

[ ] i have been trick or treating

[ ] i have caught insects

[x] i used to collect marbles

[x] i watched pokemon

[ ] i have owned a tamagotchi

[x] i have made a sandcastle

Embarrassment

[x] i have been dacked

[ ] i have sneezed and snot landed on somebody

[ ] i have farted loudly in class

[x] i have laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose.

[ ] i snort when i laugh

[x] i have slipped over in mud

[ ] i snore

[x] sometimes i talk in my sleep

[x] i cry in my sleep

[x] i have stepped in dog poo

[ ] i sleepwalk

[ ] i have slipped on a banana peel

[x] i have walked into a pole

[x] i have been shit on by a bird

[x] i have had my pants tear in public.

Health

[x] i have broken a bone

[x] i have gotten stitches

[x] i have had my tonsils removed.

[x] i have had surgery

[ ] i have broken my nose

[ ] i have had an amputation

[x] i watch what i eat

[x] i have had teeth pulled out

[ ] i have had cancer

[x] i have had chicken pox

[x] i have an allergy

[x] i have had/have severe depression

[ ] i have harmed myself on purpose

[x] i have been/am vegetarian

[x] i have been/am a vegan

Love Life.

[x] i am single.

[x] i have had a boyfriend/girlfriend

[ ] i am in a relationship

[ ] i have gotten married

[ ] i have gotten divorced

[x] i have kissed somebody

[x] i have kissed more than 5 people

[x] i have kissed more than 15 people

[x] i have been in love

[x] i have had sexual intercourse

[x] i have had more than 5 sexual partners

[x] i have had more than 10 sexual partners

[x] i have recieved/given anal sex

[x] i have engaged in sexual activity with the same sex

[x] i have kissed somebody of the same sex

Honesty & Crime .

[x] i have been arrested

[x] i have been in a police car

[x] i have lied to a friend

[ ] i have shoplifted

[x] i have done something illegal within the past 2 weeks

[x] i have gotten away with murder

[x] i have lied to my parents about where i am

[ ] i own a gun

[ ] i have cheated while playing a game

[x] i have broken into someones house

[x] i have witnessed a crime

[x] i have been in a fist fight

[ ] i have tortured an animal

[ ] i have put somebody in hopsital

[x] i have had somebody put me in hospital

Death and Suicide.

[ ] i am afraid of dying

[x] i have been to a funeral

[x] i have seen someone / something dying.

[ ] i have cried when one of my pets died

[x] i know someone close to me has attempted / committed suicide

[x] i have planned my own suicide before

[x] i have been/am suicudal

[x] i would like to die before the age of 50

[x] i have planned somebody elses death

[ ] i have written my will

[x] i have tried to kill myself

[x] i have tried to kill somebody else

[ ] i would kill/have killed an animal other than insects

[x] i would risk my life for my love

[ ] i would risk my life for a stranger

Family.

[x] i have sworn at my parents

[x] i have run away from home

[x] i have been kicked out of the house

[x] my biological parents are together

[ ] i want to have kids someday

[ ] i have had a child

[_] i have lost a child

[ ] i have been pregnant

[_] i have had an abortion

[x] i would have an abortion

[ ] i have had sexual attractions towards a cousin

[x] i have been physically abused by a family member

[ ] i have physically abused a family member

[ ] i consider my pets part of the family

Drugs & Alcohol.

[x] i have consumed alcohol

[ ] i have taken diet pills

[x] i have taken anti-depressants

[x] i have smoked a cigarette

[x] i regularly smoke cigarettes

[x] i have done ecstasy

[_] i have done lsd

[x] i have done mushrooms

[x] i have done speed

[x] i have done cocaine

[ ] i have driven whilst drunk

[ ] i have been in a car with a drunk driver

[x] i have been in a car with a driver under the influence of drugs

[x] i have driven a car under the influence of drugs

Random.

[_] i have pranked the police

[x] i have seen a shooting star

[x] i have been skinny dipping

[x] i have threatened someone with a knife

[kinda] i can ride a unicycle

[ ] i have ridden a motorbike

[ ] i can do the splits

[x] i sing in the shower

[x] i sleep with a teddy

[x] i bite my nails

[ ] i have ridden a camel

[ ] i have been in a hot air balloon

[ ] i pefer cuddles than kisses

[ ] i pefer dogs over cats

[x] i have snorted wizz-fizz

[ ] i have been swimming in my clothes

[x] i have made a bomb

[ ] i have an obsession with anime/manga

[x] if i have a crush on somebody, i will tell them right away

[ ] i believe in god

[ ] i believe in other forms of life in outer space

[ ] i believe in ghosts/spirits

[ ] i believe in santa

[x] i like white chocolate

[x] i like dark chocolate

[ ] i have had a pet ferrett

[x] i have eaten kangaroo

[x] i have gone shooting

[ ] i am scared of the dark

[x] all my answers were totally honest

To Say They Hit It Off Would Be An Understatement.

I've decided to keep the belt my father used to beat me with,

right next to all my other belts in my closet.

It's my reminder of why i will never hit the people i love.

Dear Whoever.

Who you are is in your hands.

No one can read your thoughts.

Another's manipulation tactics control only what you allow.

Move.

Yesterday,

as i was collecting the last of my of my things from my mums house,

getting ready to officially be living in my shitty flat,

I took down the poster that i covered the hole i punched in the wall,

on the night you died.

I Like My Girlfriend.

I have a girlfriend

and i am in love with her.

She's the only thing i ever need.

She makes me feel complete.

I think about her constantly

and miss her like crazy when i don't have her in my arms.

She's mine and only mine.

Just listening to her voice makes life worth living.

I want her constantly.

We make sweet, sweet love all throughout the day.

I wish i could take her everywhere i went.

My heart longs for her when she's away.

I love her more then anyone and anything else.

I couldn't imagine being with any other.

She could do no wrong in my eyes.

I can't keep my hands off of her,

touching every inch.

She's everything i need.

She's there for me no matter what,

when things get rough

and everyone else has given up.

Every moment spend with her brings us closer together.

She's gorgeous.

She's amazing.

She's perfect.

Her name is Chevrolet.

And she's the best guitar ever.

.

Can you still feel the butterflies?

What Are You Afraid Of?

People are stupid nowadays.

Fuck listening to what other people think.

Do what makes your mind think.

Do what makes you happy.

Never be afraid to say anything that is on your mind.

Who cares what people think of you.

It's Lonely At The Top (Or So I've Heard).

"Lonely is a state of mind.

The answer isn't finding the right person,

it's becoming the right person."

Hard To Swallow.

Moving on is a key part of life.

And sometimes it's the best medicine.

Unfortunately, it's also sometimes very bitter to swallow.

You Already Know What You Are.

Live your life for you, and no one else.

The day you can do that and tune out all judgement laid upon you,

that will be the start of true happiness.

Your value should never be determined by another persons opinion

Screw them.

You know who "you" are.

Surround yourself with people that inspire you

and that can make you be the most "you" that you can be.

Imperfections included.

Whatever you do in this life,

make sure you do it from the heart.

This world isn't big enough for liars and fakes.

People with fake personalities are ridiculous.

It makes me so sad.

It's time for a change.

Trust Me, I Try.

Love is a fire.

But whether it is going to warm your heart

or burn down your house,

you can never tell.

If you think about it,

there's only really one way to have your heart broken.

It's when trust is crushed.

It's sad how regularly it happens.

An Old Book Misread.

She is a page in my book.

If i was to rip out old pages,

i'd have to start my book all over again.

You expect me to start my story over?

It's Not Ironic, It's Obvious.

Life is too ironic to fully understand.

It takes sadness to know what happiness is.

It takes noise to appreciate silence.

It takes absence to value presence.

Pink Lemonade.

When life gives you lemons,

garnish your alcoholic beverages with them...

and cope.

Say This Sooner.

Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide.

Assignment #2 - Pile Of Problems.

This morning a friend said to me;

"If we all threw our problems in a pile,

we'd see everyone else's

and instantly grab ours back."

I don't know if i agree or not.

Who wants to collaborate?

Leave a comment, if you will.

Stay Away From My Friends.

A friend is someone who understands your past,

believes in your future,

and accepts you just the way you are.

I can't help but love and miss these kids.

A Night To Remember.

I couldn't care less about my "legacy".

Can you say the same for yourself?

Some things just aren't worth remembering to me.

Yet other things can't leave my mind.

If only what i think about was an option.

Obsession Is Such An Ugly Word.

Is it healthy to be this obsessed?

Comfortably Confused.

Sometimes being pushed outside your comfort zone,

is the only way to stretch yourself and improve.

Appreciate people who push you.

Everyday.

Everyday,

i'm feeling more and more disconnected from real life.

We're all affected differently.

I am only natural and alive where i stand.

Take Control.

The only knowledge i need,

is the knowledge of myself.

The only power i need,

is the power to control myself accordingly to my knowledge.

At This Particular Moment.

Right and wrong.

Good and bad.

They are just words.

What matters is your choice in this moment.

Away, Away.

If you're making plans to potentially be away from me even longer,

why would you claim to loathe being away from me at all?

If Guns Are Outlawed, Can We Use Swords?

If you're going to point a gun at me,

it may be in your best interest to pull the trigger.

I Can Feel It.

Piglet: "Pooh, how do you spell 'Love'?"

Pooh: "You don't spell it, you feel it."

Change And The Constant Struggle.

People try their hardest to make things last.

Humans are meant to progress.

Humans need to adapt.

Change is inevitable.

I think that the ability to accept change in life,

is arguably the most difficult thing,

for all man kind to swallow.

Uneasy Hearts Weigh The Most.

While i may have your heart,

he has your body.

the biirds said I HAD none

Monday is usually the tell tale day. The weekend and everything significant happens.

But Monday is when you feel it.

You can wake up on Monday morning with your lips lined with Ecstasy and your heart all the healthier. Otherwise, you can wake up on Monday morning with chapped, bitten lips with words regretted and your heart in pieces.

Unless, of course, you had a weekend like mine. That decided to continue into the week.

This was my epic five days.

Thursday -

I had planned to buy a bunch of concerts tickets that day. Six, to be exact. I had a wallet full of cash as i got into Kate's car. Got to hers, to be welcomed by none other then Nick, already wasted. Let me add, it wasn't even lunch time yet. I fucking love that kid xD. So after drinking back the last of his drinks, as well as some of Kate's step dads, SOMEONE decided to suggest we got buy some pot and who am i to give up the chance. Headed off to Nicks dealer who offered us a discount on an oz. Nick didn't have the money, Kate didn't have the money.. so drunk and stupid me decided to spend my ticket money on drugs. Went back to Kate's, smoked nearly a quarter of it before finally falling asleep.

Friday -

Woke up at about, four in the afternoon to Nick yelling, "fuck i really want some toast!" So the nice guy that i am, i made him toast. He went home, i showered, Kate showered, sexy time, Kate watched Shortland Street while i had a smoke outside then we went to The Mill and got some booze for ze night. Went to her friends to buy one of them gas canister things off her (it was full, might i add). Went back to Kate's to do some fucking LPG! :D and seriously.. this shit was INTENSE!

One - Sat for fuck knows how long before i heard Kate, "JAMES!? Do you wanna go again?"

Two - Things started echoing.

Three - Along with the echo's, things started moving in slow motion. Including Yi-Gi-Oh on tv. Now THAT was intense. Apparently sat there watching it for like, a minute. Felt like hours.

Four - Started hearing this weird sound from the pipes in the walls.. kinda like busy traffic..

Five - All the buttons on the tv wouldn't work. And the sound got really loud. That's all i could hear. I was yelling to Kate but she was busy playing hand games with the Kurt Cobain poster that had come to life. I eventually managed to throw my halo through the screen which shut it off.

Six - Started hallucinating about a friend shoving me to the ground (in slow motion) and then laughing hysterically and creepily at me. After that, i crashed. Woke up sweating and crying to some freaky dream that i don't remember. Then just went for a walk 'til the sun rose.

Saturday -

Drugs in the morning before we had to head off to Auckland for my buddies concert. On the way there, had some drinks (not the driver, obviously) and got quite trashed tbh. Got to Auckland, bought some E, took it then went to the show. I don't really remember it much. Except the last band ended on a MyChildren MyBride cover which was fucking amaze. After the show, our driver told us some shit about his parents and how he had to go home and that we could either go with him or he'd come get us the next day. We were all pumped on E so we stayed. A guy from a band dropped us in town and we walked the streets trying to contact someone to stay with 'em. We pretty much fucked up the lawn of the place we were meant to stay, so that was out of the option. Everyone was either, not txting back, drunk, or too far to get us. We had also spent all our money of drugs and drinks. We had $22 dollars between three of us. After some drama, more E and four hours trapped in town, we finally got us a ride. People from Waihi had to drive two hours to pick us up. So we killed time 'til then. They got us, we drove back to their place (also, had a mean sing-a-long in the car), drama with a friend, sexy time then i crashed.

Sunday -

Drugs in the morning cured the hangover and we waited for our original driver to come pick us up. Got home, crashed (thank Heebie Jeebies for sleeping pills) for multiple hours. More drama, shower, bed.

Monday -

Had another three cans of LPG left, so gathered up some buds and buddies and just went crazy for ze day.

One - The slow motion was practically instant. 'specially the music we were listen too.

Two - Rolling a J is impossible on this shit. Seriously. I couldn't stop shaking and the wind was blowing me over (we were indoors btw. There wasn't any wind.)

Three - Weed and LPG should not be used together. Not for me anyway. I randomly started bursting into tears. Kate asked me but i couldn't talk so i txted her. The txt said exactly this, "the biirds said I HAD none"

You're Cute When You Scream.

Outrageously phenomenal?

Or phenomenally outrageous?

Either way,

you cut it.

Both phenomenal and outrageous.

Don't Just Do Something, Stand There.

The best thing you can do is the right thing.

The second best thing you can do is the wrong thing.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

Little Do You Know.

Instead of telling me why i act how i act,

why don't you try asking me?

Practice Makes Perfect.

Aim for success,

not perfection.

Never give up your right to be wrong,

cos then you'll lose the ability to move forward with your life.

I should know.

I'm the master of giving up,

the master of being wrong,

the master of losing,

the master of not moving forward.

But then again,

i'm also a master debater.

;]

I Should Be In Jail.

I’ve…

1. smoked.

2. consumed alcohol.

3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.

4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.

5. kissed someone of the same sex.

6. had sex.

7. had someone in your room other than family.

8. watched porn.

9. bought porn.

10. tried drugs.

TOTAL: 9

1. taken painkillers.

2. taken someone else’s prescription medicine.

3. lied to your parents.

4. lied to a friend.

5. snuck out of the house.

6. done something illegal.

7. felt hurt.

8. hurt someone.

9. wished someone to die.

10. seen someone die.

TOTAL so far: 19

1. missed curfew.

2. stayed out all night.

3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.

4. been to a therapist.

5. been to rehab .

6. dyed your hair.

7. received a ticket.

8. been in an accident.

9. been to a club.

10. been to a bar.

TOTAL so far: 26

1. been to a wild party.

2. been to a Mardi Gras parade.

3. drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.

4. had a spring break in Florida.

5. sniffed anything

6. wore black nail polish

7. wore arm bands.

8. wore t-shirts with band names.

9. listened to rap.

10. owned a 50 Cent CD.

TOTAL so far: 32

1. dressed gothic.

2. dressed girly.

3. dressed punk.

4. dressed grunge.

5. stole something.

6. been too drunk to remember anything

7. blacked out.

8. fainted.

9. had a crush on a neighbor.

TOTAL so far: 38

1. had a crush on a friend.

2. been to a concert.

3. dry-humped someone.

4. been called a slut.

5. called someone a slut.

6. installed speakers in your car.

7. broken a mirror.

8. showered at someone of the opposites sex’s house

9. brushed your teeth with someone else’s toothbrush.

TOTAL so far: 46

1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.

2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.

3. cruised the mall.

4. skipped school.

5. had surgery.

6. had an injury.

7. gone to court.

8. walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.

9. caught something on fire.

10. lied about your age.

TOTAL so far : 52

1. owned/rented an apartment/house.

2. broke the law in the police’s presence.

3. made out with someone who had a gf/bf

4. got in trouble with the police.

5. talked to a stranger.

6. hugged a stranger.

7. kissed a stranger.

8. rode in a car with a stranger

9. been harassed

10. been verbally harassed

TOTAL so far: 59

1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.

2. stayed online for 5 hours straight.

3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.

4. watched TV for 5 hours straight.

5. been to a fair.

6. been called a bad influence.

7. drank and driven.

8. prank-called someone.

9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.

10. cheated on a test.

TOTAL so far: 64

Grand Total: 64

If you have less than 10, write “I’m a goody-goody”

If you have more than 10, write “I’m still a goody goody”

If you have more than 20, write “I’m average”

If you have more than 30, write “I’m a bad kid”

If you have more than 40, write “I’m a very bad influence”

If you have more than 50, write “I’m a horrible person”

If you have more than 60, write “I should be in jail”

If you have more than 70, write “I should be dead”