To Put A Hole In My Head.

"Real statues just lay out in the sun.

But a man who poses as a stone gets lost."

You loved me for me.

I swear i won't forget that.

I swear i won't forget you.

I swore myself to secrecy.

But secrets are problematic.

And now, my truth is you.

I've been hurt.

Beat down.

I need to stand up for myself,

when dealt a shitty hand by my father,

or friend.

But i'm too proud to admit i'm totally lost without you,

and why i shout and cry in the mirror at myself.

Tragically,

i only think of you.

Like she thinks of me.

We made everyone jealous 'cause they'll never have what you and i had.

We were so mischievous.

Remember when i'd sing for you in the shade,

on those magical Summer days?

Back when we weren't fearful of fear.

Back before that shit went down.

And i knew from that day,

i would never be the same.

Inevitably, he created me; a monster.

A stubborn, selfish, brick wall.

A person now living in fear of judgement through vanity.

But then again,

who's really content with their life anyway?

Well i guess it ain't that bad,

going blind and being so close to death.

So inevitably it condemns me to be,

to say the least,

a melodramatic, bipolar epiphany of sound.

Everyone's inevitably doomed.

The only thing that you know,

is that you don't know a thing.

Some people don't even realise that.

Are they ignorant?

Just plain stupid?

Or uninformed?

A word of advice,

for the men and the mice;

this road is empty.

Remember that.

But i'll continue to live my life.

If you can even call this a life.

I should be bed ridden,

or dead next to the bed.

I've had enough getting up,

grounded to the illness i've had since i was young.

Illness?

Plural.

So i've come to the conclusion,

that i'm not only helpless

but i cause more trouble then need be.

I'm pretty much head over heals,

upside down,

spun around for you.

I never said forever, ever.

Meaning,

this would have ended sooner or later.

You're just choosing sooner.

Did it really mean shit when you said you loved me?

"I've got a pit in you stomach

and my hands are shaking.

Unsteady and waiting.

I've got a lump in my throat

and a whole in my chest"

and i'm fighting the urge,

to put a hole in my head.