Monday, August 30, 2010

Say This Sooner.

Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide. Suicide.

Assignment #2 - Pile Of Problems.

This morning a friend said to me;

"If we all threw our problems in a pile,
we'd see everyone else's
and instantly grab ours back."

I don't know if i agree or not.
Who wants to collaborate?

Leave a comment, if you will.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Stay Away From My Friends.


A friend is someone who understands your past,
believes in your future,
and accepts you just the way you are.
I can't help but love and miss these kids.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

A Night To Remember.

I couldn't care less about my "legacy".
Can you say the same for yourself?
Some things just aren't worth remembering to me.
Yet other things can't leave my mind.
If only what i think about was an option.

Obsession Is Such An Ugly Word.

Is it healthy to be this obsessed?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Comfortably Confused.

Sometimes being pushed outside your comfort zone,
is the only way to stretch yourself and improve.
Appreciate people who push you.

Everyday.

Everyday,
i'm feeling more and more disconnected from real life.
We're all affected differently.
I am only natural and alive where i stand.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Take Control.

The only knowledge i need,
is the knowledge of myself.
The only power i need,
is the power to control myself accordingly to my knowledge.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

At This Particular Moment.

Right and wrong.
Good and bad.
They are just words.
What matters is your choice in this moment.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Away, Away.

If you're making plans to potentially be away from me even longer,
why would you claim to loathe being away from me at all?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

If Guns Are Outlawed, Can We Use Swords?

If you're going to point a gun at me,
it may be in your best interest to pull the trigger.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I Can Feel It.

Piglet: "Pooh, how do you spell 'Love'?"
Pooh: "You don't spell it, you feel it."

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Change And The Constant Struggle.

People try their hardest to make things last.
Humans are meant to progress.
Humans need to adapt.
Change is inevitable.
I think that the ability to accept change in life,
is arguably the most difficult thing,
for all man kind to swallow.

Uneasy Hearts Weigh The Most.

While i may have your heart,
he has your body.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

the biirds said I HAD none

Monday is usually the tell tale day. The weekend and everything significant happens.
But Monday is when you feel it.
You can wake up on Monday morning with your lips lined with Ecstasy and your heart all the healthier. Otherwise, you can wake up on Monday morning with chapped, bitten lips with words regretted and your heart in pieces.
Unless, of course, you had a weekend like mine. That decided to continue into the week.

This was my epic five days.

Thursday -
I had planned to buy a bunch of concerts tickets that day. Six, to be exact. I had a wallet full of cash as i got into Kate's car. Got to hers, to be welcomed by none other then Nick, already wasted. Let me add, it wasn't even lunch time yet. I fucking love that kid xD. So after drinking back the last of his drinks, as well as some of Kate's step dads, SOMEONE decided to suggest we got buy some pot and who am i to give up the chance. Headed off to Nicks dealer who offered us a discount on an oz. Nick didn't have the money, Kate didn't have the money.. so drunk and stupid me decided to spend my ticket money on drugs. Went back to Kate's, smoked nearly a quarter of it before finally falling asleep.

Friday -
Woke up at about, four in the afternoon to Nick yelling, "fuck i really want some toast!" So the nice guy that i am, i made him toast. He went home, i showered, Kate showered, sexy time, Kate watched Shortland Street while i had a smoke outside then we went to The Mill and got some booze for ze night. Went to her friends to buy one of them gas canister things off her (it was full, might i add). Went back to Kate's to do some fucking LPG! :D and seriously.. this shit was INTENSE!
One - Sat for fuck knows how long before i heard Kate, "JAMES!? Do you wanna go again?"
Two - Things started echoing.
Three - Along with the echo's, things started moving in slow motion. Including Yi-Gi-Oh on tv. Now THAT was intense. Apparently sat there watching it for like, a minute. Felt like hours.
Four - Started hearing this weird sound from the pipes in the walls.. kinda like busy traffic..
Five - All the buttons on the tv wouldn't work. And the sound got really loud. That's all i could hear. I was yelling to Kate but she was busy playing hand games with the Kurt Cobain poster that had come to life. I eventually managed to throw my halo through the screen which shut it off.
Six - Started hallucinating about a friend shoving me to the ground (in slow motion) and then laughing hysterically and creepily at me. After that, i crashed. Woke up sweating and crying to some freaky dream that i don't remember. Then just went for a walk 'til the sun rose.

Saturday -
Drugs in the morning before we had to head off to Auckland for my buddies concert. On the way there, had some drinks (not the driver, obviously) and got quite trashed tbh. Got to Auckland, bought some E, took it then went to the show. I don't really remember it much. Except the last band ended on a MyChildren MyBride cover which was fucking amaze. After the show, our driver told us some shit about his parents and how he had to go home and that we could either go with him or he'd come get us the next day. We were all pumped on E so we stayed. A guy from a band dropped us in town and we walked the streets trying to contact someone to stay with 'em. We pretty much fucked up the lawn of the place we were meant to stay, so that was out of the option. Everyone was either, not txting back, drunk, or too far to get us. We had also spent all our money of drugs and drinks. We had $22 dollars between three of us. After some drama, more E and four hours trapped in town, we finally got us a ride. People from Waihi had to drive two hours to pick us up. So we killed time 'til then. They got us, we drove back to their place (also, had a mean sing-a-long in the car), drama with a friend, sexy time then i crashed.

Sunday -
Drugs in the morning cured the hangover and we waited for our original driver to come pick us up. Got home, crashed (thank Heebie Jeebies for sleeping pills) for multiple hours. More drama, shower, bed.

Monday -
Had another three cans of LPG left, so gathered up some buds and buddies and just went crazy for ze day.
One - The slow motion was practically instant. 'specially the music we were listen too.
Two - Rolling a J is impossible on this shit. Seriously. I couldn't stop shaking and the wind was blowing me over (we were indoors btw. There wasn't any wind.)
Three - Weed and LPG should not be used together. Not for me anyway. I randomly started bursting into tears. Kate asked me but i couldn't talk so i txted her. The txt said exactly this, "the biirds said I HAD none"

Friday, August 13, 2010

You're Cute When You Scream.

Outrageously phenomenal?
Or phenomenally outrageous?
Either way,
you cut it.
Both phenomenal and outrageous.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Don't Just Do Something, Stand There.

The best thing you can do is the right thing.
The second best thing you can do is the wrong thing.
The worst thing you can do is nothing.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Little Do You Know.

Instead of telling me why i act how i act,
why don't you try asking me?

Practice Makes Perfect.

Aim for success,
not perfection.
Never give up your right to be wrong,
cos then you'll lose the ability to move forward with your life.
I should know.
I'm the master of giving up,
the master of being wrong,
the master of losing,
the master of not moving forward.
But then again,
i'm also a master debater.
;]

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I Should Be In Jail.

I’ve…

1. smoked.

2. consumed alcohol.

3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.

4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.

5. kissed someone of the same sex.

6. had sex.

7. had someone in your room other than family.

8. watched porn.

9. bought porn.

10. tried drugs.

TOTAL: 9

1. taken painkillers.

2. taken someone else’s prescription medicine.

3. lied to your parents.

4. lied to a friend.

5. snuck out of the house.

6. done something illegal.

7. felt hurt.

8. hurt someone.

9. wished someone to die.

10. seen someone die.

TOTAL so far: 19

1. missed curfew.

2. stayed out all night.

3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.

4. been to a therapist.

5. been to rehab .

6. dyed your hair.

7. received a ticket.

8. been in an accident.

9. been to a club.

10. been to a bar.

TOTAL so far: 26

1. been to a wild party.

2. been to a Mardi Gras parade.

3. drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.

4. had a spring break in Florida.

5. sniffed anything

6. wore black nail polish

7. wore arm bands.

8. wore t-shirts with band names.

9. listened to rap.

10. owned a 50 Cent CD.

TOTAL so far: 32

1. dressed gothic.

2. dressed girly.

3. dressed punk.

4. dressed grunge.

5. stole something.

6. been too drunk to remember anything

7. blacked out.

8. fainted.

9. had a crush on a neighbor.

TOTAL so far: 38

1. had a crush on a friend.

2. been to a concert.

3. dry-humped someone.

4. been called a slut.

5. called someone a slut.

6. installed speakers in your car.

7. broken a mirror.

8. showered at someone of the opposites sex’s house

9. brushed your teeth with someone else’s toothbrush.

TOTAL so far: 46

1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.

2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.

3. cruised the mall.

4. skipped school.

5. had surgery.

6. had an injury.

7. gone to court.

8. walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.

9. caught something on fire.

10. lied about your age.

TOTAL so far : 52

1. owned/rented an apartment/house.

2. broke the law in the police’s presence.

3. made out with someone who had a gf/bf

4. got in trouble with the police.

5. talked to a stranger.

6. hugged a stranger.

7. kissed a stranger.

8. rode in a car with a stranger

9. been harassed

10. been verbally harassed

TOTAL so far: 59

1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.

2. stayed online for 5 hours straight.

3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.

4. watched TV for 5 hours straight.

5. been to a fair.

6. been called a bad influence.

7. drank and driven.

8. prank-called someone.

9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.

10. cheated on a test.

TOTAL so far: 64

Grand Total: 64

If you have less than 10, write “I’m a goody-goody”

If you have more than 10, write “I’m still a goody goody”

If you have more than 20, write “I’m average”

If you have more than 30, write “I’m a bad kid”

If you have more than 40, write “I’m a very bad influence”

If you have more than 50, write “I’m a horrible person”

If you have more than 60, write “I should be in jail”

If you have more than 70, write “I should be dead”

Get Away With Murder.

Sometimes people claim to care.
But only when they can get away with it.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Survey 001

Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with?
Because someone thought it would be funny to watch me suffer.

Who will be your maid of honor at your wedding?
I'm not getting married.

Who will be the best man at your wedding?
I'm not getting married.

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
Summer.

Who are your best friends?
Melissa.

Do you like the rain?
I do.

Did you have a good day yesterday?
Not at all.

In the next 5 months, what are you looking forward to most?
Seven concerts, plus Parachute.

What is bothering you right now?
My mind.

Do you wish you had the chance to tell someone something right now?
Yes.

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Yes.

Has anyone disappointed you recently?
Yes.

Do horror movies these days scare you?
I don't watch movies.

Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
Depends. Can i die tomorrow?

Do you hate the last person you kissed?
No.

Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
(:

Are you happy right now?
I'm content.

Plans for tomorrow?
Hanging with Kate, maybe.

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
Yes.

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
Both.

What were you doing last night at midnight?
With friends.

Anyone you’re giving up on?
You could say that.

Do you call anybody by their last name?
Sometimes.

Last pool you were in?
YALS.

Were you single over last summer?
Nope.

When you say you don’t care, do you mean it?
Yes.

What’s something you really want right now, be honest?
Melissa.

Are you going anywhere this summer?
Nope.

What if you had children with last person you kissed?
*shrugs*

Does anyone disgust you?
Yes.

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
I won't.

What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?
<3>Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?
Yes.

Are your ears gauged?
Yes.

What color is your shirt?
Purple.

Who was the last person you texted?
Kate.

Have you ever kissed anyone who’s name started with a J?
Yes.

Would you get married if you could right now?
No.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
Mum.

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
Either.

Is any part of your body sore?
My knee.

What do you wear more jeans, sweatpants, or slacks?
Jeans.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
<3>Favorite color(s)?
Purple?

Your favorite fruit?
Strawberries.

Is there anyone who’s a lot like you?
Not that i know of.

What were you doing this morning at 7am?
Laying in bed.

Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Occasionally.

Any plans for Friday night?
Auckland?

Do you have a secret crush?
Yes.

If the last person you kissed told you they wanted to be with you, would you believe them?
Yes.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?
"forever" isn't real.

Do you still talk to the person you were dating 4 months ago?
Yes.

Have you ever been nice to someone who treated you like crap?
Yes.

Could you go a month without cursing?
Nope.

Have you ever been called prince/princess?
I've been called princess.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
Yes.

When was the last time you laughed?
Awhile ago.

Who’s the last person you were in a car with?
Kate.

Anything hurting you now?
:/

Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
Nope.

Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t?

Yeah.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Assignment #1 - Sex.

Where are you dirty bitches?
Oh there you are!
I've given you all an assignment,
and it's all about sexual intercourse.
Something we all seem to know a lot more about than we should.
Your assignment,
in the comment boxes,
is to share your sexual fantasy.
You know...
what you think about when you're helping yourself out,
or when you're with someone that just doesn't push your buttons.
Which of you little rascals has a thing for domination?
Who likes role-play?
Power-play?

Leave no name if you're scared shitless.
My reason for this is that I'm completely fantasy free and I'm feeling boring.
It's your job to entice me,
intrigue me,
and perhaps even turn me on.
;D